A Matter of Pronouns

An old blog by one of my very good friends.
Im sure everyone can relate.
Like I said, it's just a matter of pronouns


I am Joe's heart

Since Joe was inside his mother's womb, I have been pumping blood all
over his body. Through his childhood, puberty and adulthood, I have
grown with Joe. I felt his passion for the arts, his hunger for
knowledge, and his devotion to his loved ones. But there's something
peculiar about Joe, about me. Whenever Joe would look at another man,
I would skip a beat. Joe and I find their bodies sexy. We were drawn
to them like a magnet. Later on I realized that I beat not for women
but for men. I'm attracted to another man's heart. And through time,
I didn't find it peculiar anymore. I am Joe's gay heart.

I am Joe' active heart. I usually beat fast when Joe goes to the gym,
when he's climbing walls at the local climbing center, or when he has
to meet a deadline at work. But something is different, something
delightful is happening within Joe right now. All of this started
when Joe met Jack.

I was beating normally, well more normal than usual since Joe was
drinking coffee in a café while writing in his notebook. I was trying
to cope with the amount of caffeine and nicotine Joe was consuming
when suddenly, I began to beat faster. I tried to make sense of it by
asking Brain what is happening. Brain told me that Eyes saw a man
looking at Joe. At first, according to the news of Brain (he's
somewhat of a gossip) that the man was glancing at Joe furtively.
Then, as reported by Eyes, the man smiled at Joe. It was about the
same time that I began to palpitate. I thought it was the combined
effects of cigarettes and coffee. But then, other chemicals were
flooding Joe's system. Brain told me that endorphins and adrenaline
were being released in huge amounts. Electrical bursts in Joe's
synapses are going off like fireworks. Then, I began to beat at a
faster pace. I was feeling anxious and excited. It was at the exact
time when the man Joe was looking at approached our table and
introduced himself. Ears told Brain who told me that the man's name
was Jack. Eyes said that Jack was very attractive, exactly the type
that Joe dreams of during REM stage. Nose said that Jack smelled
really nice. Nose doesn't have a wide vocabulary but we still love
him. Ears was in full attention, listening to the voice of Jack. The
information Ears received was immediately transmitted to Brain. And
Brain, the over-thinker that he is, began to match the information
with the data of Joe's ideal man. A perfect match. I told Brain,
Eyes, Ears, and Nose to maintain a low profile and be cautious. We've
been here before. Joe can't take another beating. I can only be
broken so many times. But Brain was insistent. He was all over the
place. He told Lungs the news and Lungs, for his part, had to control
Joe's breathing. Joe's groin area was a different story. They were
all abuzz about the news, surely brought about by Brain's
instigation. But I told them, keep it down. This has happened before;
the initial excitement of meeting someone new always registers this
effect on Joe. But in the end, it is I who will Joe ask for answers.
I am Joe's cautious heart.

I am Joe's beating heart. I've been skipping a beat, so to speak,
after Joe met Jack. They've been seeing each other for quite some
time now. Eyes is all over Jack: his face, his hands, his lips. Eyes
can't even focus on the movies Joe and Jack watched. Ears was more
attentive than usual, clinging on every word of Jack. Ears was making
sure that he heard everything correctly because, by now, Brain was
asking for a detailed report every minute. Brain tends to over
analyze everything. Brain thinks too much. He interprets Jack's
words, every syllable, even the way it was said and the tones used. A
simple phrase such as, "Do you want to go now", has numerous
interpretations: "is he bored, does he want to go without me, should
I say I still want to talk to him." Poor Brain, he's been working
overtime since Joe met Jack. Brain has replayed all of the dates of
Joe with Jack. Every time, he would focus on a single moment: a
touch, a smile, a nod, and come up with a thousand interpretations.
But I kept telling everyone, especially brain, to slow down. I have
to be sure. I have to be certain about what Joe feels about Jack,
what I feel about Jack's heart. I am Joe's doubtful heart.

I am Joe's guarded heart. Through the years, I have been broken many
times. Joe loved all of them. I loved all of them. Every time I feel
a connection, I would speak to the heart of Joe's current object of
affection. All of them told me that they love me, they love Joe. That
Joe, I, was the one they've been looking for. I am flattered, of
course. All of them promised the moon and the stars. Most of them
kept with my pace. Some of them even made me quiver by quoting
Neruda. But all of them said goodbye to me, to Joe. Joe couldn't
understand. Brain tried to theorize every break-up. But Brain
couldn't give Joe answers. Joe would always end up with questions for
me. I cannot answer him because I am broken. After each break up, I
would build a wall around me. Every time that I would be broken,
another brick would be laid and cemented. When Joe asks if I could
still love again, I would tell him to give me some time to rest.
Eventually, I would tell Joe to be hopeful for love would find us
inevitably. But I am scared. What's the point of finding love if I
would still end up broken? I am Joe's jaded heart.

I am Joe's feeling heart. You'd think Joe only listens to Brain. As
Joe learned from the past, love is truly an affair of the heart. This
is my domain, my area of expertise. Joe asked me a lot of questions
about Jack. He kept nagging me about how I feel about Jack. I'd tell
him that I've built a wall around me to protect myself from being
broken again. But the truth always escapes me. I had to be honest
with Joe. "Jack's the one, Joe." I'd say. I've spoken to Jack's heart
and we are in agreement. Jack's heart is in love. Jack is in love
with Joe. And I told Joe, affirming Brain's proposition that Joe was
in love with Jack. I am Joe's loved heart.

I am Joe's bleeding heart. Last night I felt a knife pierce through
me. I tried to do my usual work, pretend that everything is as it
should be. I kept telling myself that if I just wait and patiently
count the hours, I would feel Jack's beating heart again. But Eyes
has been crying since last night. Ears are deafened by the silence in
Joe's room. Hands long to touch Jack's Hands. But Jack was nowhere to
be found. Brain has replayed the scene over and over. Like watching a
big T.V. screen, all of Joe's organs, the entire body of Joe,
recalled what happened. Jack broke up with Joe. Jack said it wasn't
working out and that he met someone else. Mouth had no words to tell
Jack that he's making a mistake. Lips were shut tight while Eyes
fought back the tears. But the heaviest of burdens was pressed
against me last night. I was feeling Joe's pain. Brain's questions
are now my questions: why, what happened, what went wrong, am I not
enough. And I listened. I asked. I pleaded for Jack's heart to
respond. But Jack's heart was silent. Jack's heart was afraid that he
was making a mistake, a huge mistake. Jack's heart was terrified of
my honesty, my commitment, and my love. Jack's heart cannot fathom
the depths of my love for him. So he withdrew. He kept his distance.
He remained quiet. In his silence, we both knew the truth. Jack
didn't meet anyone new. Jack wasn't seeing another guy. Jack's heart
was afraid. Afraid of what I was prepared to give: a love with no
conditions, no doubts, and no questions. I was willing to compromise,
to overlook Jack's shortcomings. I love him despite his weaknesses,
his faults, his frailties. It was too much for Jack's heart to take.

Loop

"In your empty heart
I have left a mark
The best you never had"

OUCH!
Why the hell am I smiling?

Midterms Bubbles

1) What will be grossly shocking to the conscience? Explain. 10 pts

Virnastar: You and me together, professor.

2) What will constitute an ideal partner? Give a concrete example. 10 pts

Virnastar: Someone who stimulates me up here (draws a picture of a brain) and down there (better left to the imagination)

3)Tibam girl is reviewing in the library. Guy smiles at tibam girl. Tibam girl smiles back and surprisingly feels giddy about it. Is this:

a) hetero experimentation
b) Information overload amounting to confusion
c) Fraud in factuum

Decide. 20 pts

Virnastar: Fraud in factuum

4) What relationships -- their terms and conditions, effectivity and termination -- must be in a public instrument? Explain why. 20 pts


Virnastar: Relationships with overly confident people, pretentious individuals, self-righteous entities and with selective amnesia citizens. All kinds of relationship and endeavors with the aformentioned individuals must be in a public instrument so as to properly inform and bind the whole world.

5) What is avulsion en angst. Give an example. 10 pts

Virnastar: Avulsion en angst occurs when a portion of one's personality is separated from one's self and transferred to another person. The transfer must be due to the strong current of the emotional river. This usually happens between a self righteous individual (an upper tenement)and an oblivious companion (lower tenement)

6)Consider each individual as a municipal corporation. Municipal corporations can be merged, divided and so on. Which one of the following will lead to an insalubrious relationship? Explain. 20 pts

a) Annex
b) Merge
c) Divide
d) Alter
e) None of the above

Virnastar: A)Annex. When a municipal corporation is annexed to another municipal corporation, the former loses its personality. Furthermore, all of the properties of the former shall be deemed transferred under the name of the latter.

7) What is a prejudicual question? 10 pts
Virnastar: ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS

MEMO TO SELF

1) After roll call, don't raise your hand if the professor will say, "all of you have been called right?" thinking that the prof is talking about recitation. Ergo, do not be one-track-minded.(except with karirs. teehee)

2) When ralph is around, double up your gabi costume
i.e. like the gabi leaf, ralph will slide down like water.

3) Do not chat with mike about crazy stuff. you will not be able to finish your office deadlines. Ask for pasalubong.

4) Do not avert your gaze from the professor, for he might then call you for recit.

5) Try not to sleep when you have a free night. Remember 7 exams in almost 7 straight days. Parang commercial ng pantene or something.

6) Check your zipper everytime you stand up for recit. You might be oversharing

7) Make use of your valuable time wisely. So why the hell are you typing this senseless post?

Mock yourself before you mock others daw. ;)

jumping the bandwagon... CHAR!

one day, virnastar saw yet another one of those questionnaires. you know, the non-academic charity ones...

1.The way to win your heart?
-- I don’t have a heart. I’m a plant


2.What did you do last night?
-- magpakabibo sa sales. Nagconsult ako sa mga friends ko na si Paras, Tolentino at tadan! Iconic Baviera. But no, walang pasok sa sales.


3.Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
-- parang apelido lang naman… mga ganun

4.Are you looking for a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
-- bad yun. Magagalit parents ko;)

5.One song that's meaningful to you?
-- thiz iz zerious ha… 32 flavors. Very telling ba? Hehe


6.Do you twirl or scoop your spaghetti?
-- I use chopsticks. honestly


7.Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
-- Nee (or dude kung lalaki ang gumawa nitech), working law student akesh. kape lang ang pwede naming inumin. at madaming bitamins. teehee

8.How long is your hair?
-- long. Hanggang eastwood.

9.Do you like Batman?
-- No. but he likes me. Nafeel ko.


10.Who was the last person who told you they loved you?
-- si Ralph


11.Addicted to anything?
-- Ralph. Romance ni Ralph Lauren… mabango siya promise

12.What were you last listening to in the car?
-- Myself sing or talk. Not much of a difference there

13.Do you like anyone now?
-- oh yeah. Verily

14.When was the last time you sang out loud?
-- ngayon. Multi-tasker ang mga nasa NGO, nee (or dude)

15.What did you have for breakfast?
-- sugar-free ensaymada. Keri lang. foodam pa rin yun. May pagpapanggap na healthy daw.


16.Is your birthday on a holiday?
-- medyo. National BIJIN’s DAY… o yung mga nihinggo speaking dyan. hehe

17.What instant messaging service do you use?
-- ym lang. nakakasira sa trabaho eh. CHAR!

18.Can you cook?
-- cook what? Kung kalokohan yes! Yes yes yesJ

19.Did you have a nap today?
-- nap sa lap ni… hahaha

20.What was the reason you got in trouble last time?
-- good girl ako eh… okay ba pag-deflect ko? hehe

21.What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
-- jeans obkors

22.When is your birthday?
-- ang numero ng tanong na to plus 1 sa buwan ng setyembre. bow

23.Do you swear a lot?
-- oh yeah!

24.Where did you get the shirt(s) you're wearing?
-- sa sampayan. Kakatupi lang ni marci the great. Ang aming powerful na kasama sa bahay. Mabuhay si marci! Seryoso to!

25.Do you have any regrets?
-- not now. maybe later;something to do with answering a certain questionnaire

26.What was your first alcoholic drink?
-- family rubbing alcohol. Di nga? Pag bata ka minsan tumatalsik sa bibig mo ang alcohol na pinupunas sayo pag may sakit. Hate ko alcohol at vicks ha.

-- Tsaka di ako umiinom ng alcohol masama sa kalusugan (pinocchio)

27.Do you want something you can't have?
-- uhuh. Para siyang vain hope or expectancy. Wink wink

28.What color are your favorite shoes?
P U R P L E. bigay ng sis ko. power

29.Who would you like to see right now?
-- si queen Elizabeth. Tea time talk ba kasama ng mga aso niya. or si mr. bean

30.Are you a social or antisocial person?
-- una sa lahat, am I a person? Hmmm… what if im a robot? Will I still be entitled to the same question?

31.Have the cops ever come by your house?
-- well sa kalayaan ako nakatira, they pass by my house once in a while. Complete with blaring sirens… yung mga tipong 2AM

32.Ever been in love?
-- sabi nila love is like a rosary... and i do rosary... seryoso. hindi, define love muna... yun ba yung parang isa sa mga natural catastrophies?


33.Ever had braces?
-- NOOOOOO… I find them bereft of merit. wehehe


34.Who was the first person to really break your heart?
-- wala nga akong heart. Ano vey!

35.What do you wear to bed?
-- hihihi… ang arte…

36.Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
-- si Kate; Na elementary ko pa classmate at madalas pumupunta sa bahay but no, si father ang tawag niya pa rin kay Kate ay CAKE. Yeah friends pa rin kami. Nagtatatrabaho siya sa Dept of Agrarian Reform. At tuwing may meeting ako sa Dept of Agriculture hindi ko siya makita. Ganun kami kaclose. hmp

37.Who was the last person to disappoint you?
-- parang heavy with threats naman ang tanong na yan. Parang dahil dinisappoint niyako, that last person is… hindi naman halatang mega-evade ako sa question noh? J


38.Do you trust people?
-- truly, madly, deeply do

39.Who was the first person you talked to today?
-- si Marci. Winner siya!


40.Who was the first person to text you today?
-- si Ralph. Tas nagising ako. Panaginip lang pala yun. nakakaloka

41.What was the first thing you did this morning?
-- nagmaganda.. Tas naalala ko classes tonight… nacranky.



Siya, makapag-aral na nga sa property. THIZ IZ IT! GOODBYE BABYE!

oh yeah

Virnastar v Republic of Crankiness

FACTS:

1. Petioner is an NGO worker/ law student

2) Said petitioner has been through the following in a span of 6 or so weeks

week 1: surgery (her anesthesiologist's pretty, by the way)
week 2: pseudo rest
week 3: start of law school classes AND field work in zambales and batangas
weeks 4,5 and 6: 1 bag full of lawbooks & cases + 1 plastic folder with books and cases + cranky profs + meetings/seminars + maximum of 3 hrs of sleep per night

3) Through the course of the said weeks, Republic of Crankiness through several of its agents namely Nunc Pro Tunc, psychedelic tie, Super T, and a Ms. avulsion, has offered petitioner with a 4-month lease of its patrimonial property in Angst Street.


ISSUE: What movie would best counter the accumulated angst and crankiness?


HELD: MAMA MIA

RATIO:

In order that a movie be considered conclusively fabulous, two elements must concur:

1) meryl streep
2) abba songs

Mending A Broken Heart

-- A person in authority asked me to do this. (persons in authority as defined by law) Hence, what I write in here may not find favor in some. But this is my blog and it'll be my grade, so there. The title is chessy. Let me add " For the heartless --> a broken ego. For those without it, congratulations! You are not human. There is nothing to mend."



I once came across an article on broken heart syndrome. Apparently, even the medical field considers this as a serious problem. The details of the article I can only vaguely remember. In a nutshell, it described broken heart syndrome as a prequel to a heart attack. Loss of a loved one and severe emotional trauma were also cited as common causes. On a positive note, the article said that recovery is quick.

This made me think of the broken heart syndrome that more commonly plagues us, mere mortals. In this case, would it be proper to say that recovery is quick?

The safest answer to that is, it depends. Regardless of the length of time one has to allot in order to extricate one's self from this oftentimes debilitating experience, there are basic steps one should go through. They do not necessarily have to happen in the order that I present them, again that would depend on the person. But for me, this works.

First, ACCEPT THAT IT IS OVER AND LISTEN. Easy to say but hard to do. Once upon a time I had a friend who broke up with her first love and partner for two years. Prior to the break up, her demeanor was that of someone who scoffs at lovesick fools. She was also the type who could not quite understand why people who split up behave stupidly, as she calls it. When it was her time, I saw her eat all of her words.

Everyday with her was like being an “alalay” to the protagonist of a romantic comedy with a neurotic twist. Something like the movie, MY SUPER EX GIRLFRIEND. It was both amusing and pitiful. She was hospitalized and became as thin as a toothpick. One moment she would be professing her love for the ex and the next she would be spewing words of hatred and revenge. Alcohol was best not served in her presence.

During that time, I was one of the people closest to her. I wanted to tell her that her biggest problem was that she just could not accept it. You can not force people to love you or stay in love with you. The only thing you can ask for is that they inform you decently. My friend's ears were open but somewhere between the opening of the ears and the brain, my message got lost in translation.


Second, SHOVE WHAT NEEDS TO BE SHOVED IN THE FOSSILIZED PAST. I remember the amusement I felt when I first read this phrase. It was a perfect thing to use when talking about not so desirable things; stuff that form part of living and breathing --- like falling in and falling out of love. In other words, try to rid yourself of the tangible things that would only remind you of your ex-boyfriend or love interest while maintaing a firm grasp on lessons from your experience.


The principle applies especially to those that will only give you false hopes or lead to delusions that she or he is coming back or will change her or his mind. It might even be potentially dangerous and absolutely pathetic if the ex is already committed to another. Stuff toys, pictures, cars or townhouses for the upper class, and the like must be disposed of; even text messages. After all, the operative word is EX-girlfriend/boyfriend. I am not saying one should throw them all away or build a large bonfire; that would be wasteful, impractical and stupid. Scenarios can range from giving them away and for the more expensive gifts, selling them. Just like what Ivana Trump said, “Don’t get mad, get everything.” At least you get to put them to some practical use without the psychological torment of “what ifs” every time you use or see these things.

Third, DISCARD YOUR ISSUES PROPERLY. Someone said, “If in public toilets you see placards that go, ‘DISCARD YOUR TISSUES PROPERLY’, in my room also known as my private space you will see a sign that says ‘DISCARD YOUR ISSUES PROPERLY’". This seems trivial but personally, I believe this is laden with several advices already.

For one, while people are generally sympathetic, they may not stay so if you cry or mop around 24/7 just because of a heart break. Yes you are miserable and in pain, but the rest of world is still breathing and going about their business. It is just one aspect of your life; not the lone source of love in this world; most definitely not a very sound reason to ruin your whole life.

If you happen to find yourself in a party where your ex was invited as well, it would not make you less of a human being if you act gracefully. The party is after all for your host/ess and not for you or your ex.

Also, avoid dragging innocent people --strangers and friends – in your personal vendetta. I have seen a lot of people who have behaved like this, even my friends. It only shows your capacity to be overly paranoid. On top of that, it is very unfair to your mutual friends. Others would go the extra mile of blaming friends or third persons for the break up or rejection. This tactic will not help you get over your heartbreak and will not give your image, plus points.

Fourth, LAUGH. Cliché-ish as it may sound laughter is always the best medicine. If it really is funny, try to laugh. It takes more muscles to frown and cry than smile or laugh. In time you will also find yourself laughing at the things that made you cry the most. An important thing to remember though is to laugh to lighten up your mood not because you want to be malicious. Laugh at the rejection or break-up but not at the person that caused it. Find ways to amuse your self. If you must sing STUPID CUPID, by all means.

Fifth, SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE ENERGIES. Going through a heart break is not easy. Self esteem is usually the first casualty. For some who have cinematic tendencies, health is also sacrificed. In order to repair the former and avoid the latter it will help if you are surrounded by friends or people who are not angsty, are great listeners but are objective. These very people will make you feel that they empathize with you but will help you get out of your misery, not feed it.

In addition to this, it will be best if you watch feel good movies and lie low on the drama. Crying time or ex bashing should be given a time-limit per day, until finally, you can do without it. Although crying and getting all riled up can serve as forms of therapy, if you get used to them, happiness may eventually leave you permanently.

Last, THINK POSITIVE AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. In line with accepting that things are over or you are just not meant for each other, it will also help if you take time for a self-evaluation. A time to regroup. For jilted partners, think of the freedom that break ups entail. A chance for a new beginning and appropriate reforms. More time to devote to one’s self, friends and family.

For suitors whose hearts bleed because of rejection, this kind of pondering will also help in understanding why the feeling could not be reciprocated. Instead of bringing you down, consider it as a way of saving you for somebody who deserves you better.

Bottom line is, heartbreaks will always be painful. No matter how forewarned you are, when the moment arrives, all the advices can never really lessen the pain. But is this not the beauty of loving? There are always surprises along the way. Some are bound to bring the most exquisite of happiness. Some are bound to be painful.


After all, nothing is forever but things like falling in love are almost always worth the pain. What does not kill you will only make you stronger.


I hope I won't find myself eating up my words

to the abstract queen

It's nice when you once again hear the songs that first moved you almost a decade ago. This blog is a tribute to one of them. The only drawback is, the circumstances that made you receptive to them have most probably increased exponentially...

WHY?!

What is it with dykes and drama?

I AM ONE OF THE MOST DRAMATIC DYKES IN THE WHOLE GALAXY; or as a friend puts it, CINEMATIC. But i do try to cross over to comedy once in while.

Some people though can't seem to switch themes.

DRAMA is not the only genre in this spherical(or whatever) thing we live in right?

ACTION is good too. Kung fu and those slice-with-your-hands, high kicks and defy-gravity motions can be more tolerable than endless drama.

SUSPENSE can be fun too. Let the screams flow out of your mouth instead of the tears out of those eyes. you can also try to let the tears come out of your mouth and the screams flow out of your eyes. freaky but interesting.

The problem is, everyone whose preference remotely resembles that of dykes' (for lack of a better description)seems to be addicted to dramaramas too.

As Anni Lennox puts it, WHY?

Let me just run towards my bed in slow motion and bury my head on the pillow as i contemplate all these.

it's the second song; around 4:15

for all the strong women in my family and my circle of friends

ME rocks!
if audio does the trick for you, check the blog up:)

Watch the woman's hands as she cultivates the land
As she plants the seed
As she's on her knees
Watch her fingers smile as she holds the little child
As she holds him, as she holds him

Watch the woman's hands as she holds the children back
From the danger, from the danger
Watch her big fight to keep the family tight together, together

Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her

Watch the woman's hands as she talks to the man
As he talks down to her, as he tells her
He doesn't understand, he does not see the fisted hands
Clenching tightly, angrily

Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need her
Oh we need
Oh we need her
Oh watch the woman's hands
Watch the, watch the woman's hands
Watch the woman's hands
Lyrics > Melissa Etheridge Lyrics > Melissa Etheridge Watch the Woman's Hands Lyrics

make a wish

The star is falling
Make a wish
It may come true
Not for the unfortunate star
But for you

Gravity pulled
And the star has fallen
You have the star
But the star does not have you


star's been plucked from the higher ground where star was safely being an onlooker
Sucks but true (nyahahahaha)

straight out of the gay's mouth

Very special friend: They say lesbians have a greater tendency to be irrationally jealous because it's so easy to lose your partner to another lesbian in the community.
Virnastar: Hmm... In the lesbian world NOT UNLIKE the hetero world, you get irrationally jealous not because it's easy to lose your partner but because you are just paranoid


Very special friend: what's with the necklace?
Virnastar: (with a very straight face)well, you see people usually think les don't accessorize. i don't want them to think im gay


Very special friend: So how's your S*X life?
Virnastar: define S*X life
Very sepcial friend: you don't abstain
Virnastar: (points to her bandanged hand) does it look like i abstain?
Very special friend: Hahahahaha

damn!

7 is suppose to be a lucky number.
well, there must have been some truth in that, because last week i was working for 7 straight days in like like 7 different places.
7 straight days that failed to set me on the straight path but instead led me deeper into my not so straight ways. heh!

On the 7th day, the perfect song for my object of whatever you want to call it, was brought to my stream of consciousness. thanks chang and twyla.

sophie b hawkins and melissa etheridge say:


Damn I wish I was your lover
I'll rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm
I am everything
Tonight I'll be your mother
I'll do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed
Shucks
For me there is no other
You're the only shoe that fits
I can't imagine I'll grow out of it


I say:
damn! damn! damn!

Chicken

I can't remember your face. I search every space in my brain but nothing produces a glipmse of you.
It's like you have disappeared.
But I cannot forget you.
My stream of consciousness is a fertile space full of you.
Just you.
Like dust that make up every living thing on this planet

I try to remember the words that I have spoken.
I open my mouth hoping that I can capture those moments again, hear my voce saying the words that gave you a look at what should be inside me.
I have become mute.
But no amount of exhaustion can seem to stop me from talking about you.
Always you

I try, believe me I tried
I know I should stop trying now
I am setting myself free
I am going after you